Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
