Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
