You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
