YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
