I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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