i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
