he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
