4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
