So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I am available for nakedness
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
