I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
