let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
