just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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