She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
