Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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