Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
