just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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