went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
