This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
