it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
