Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
