I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I pour the whiskey from now on
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
