it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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