sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
