Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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