My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
