She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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