Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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