My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
