i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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