RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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