Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
