Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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