she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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