I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
