saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize