Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
