How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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