I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
