its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
