In the future we'll all be gay
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
