I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
