its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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