you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
