we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
