honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
