Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
