He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
