Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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