Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
