Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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