Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
